Q #3: I adore you and have since I was a teenager! I’m now 29. I’ve read and loved every single book. When on earth can I meet you at a book signing??? I live in the Dreadful Northeast! —Heather, Worcester, MAHeather, I urge you to move at once from the Dreadful Northeast to the Blissful Northeast. I suspect you may be stuck in a malevolent alternate reality. We can test that suspicion. In your world, is Lex Luthor the governor of Massachusetts? Is Adam Sandler a stage actor renowned for his performances in the plays of Shakespeare? In your world, does the nation’s primary fast-food franchise sell burgers made with ground lizard meat? Yes, Heather, you are in a malevolent alternate reality. Proceed at once to your nearest Starbucks, enter the rest room, turn three times in a circle while repeating the word cinnamon, and the room will transform into a cross-dimensional vehicle that can bring you safely to a benign alternate reality. As for book signings: I have never done a book-signing tour, staying exclusively within California. If eventually I get ahead of my deadlines, I might consider a lengthy trip around the country to visit bookstores and meet readers. Meanwhile, anyone who writes to me at the address given above and asks for three or fewer bookplates, either with generic inscriptions or with inscriptions specific to certain titles, will be sent them on a timely basis. We do not accept books for signature because in the days when we did, they came in such volume that a full-time employee was required to unpack and repack them—repetitive and dreary work that threatened the sanity of said employee even more than having to work with me threatened her sanity.